Lovelies, I really hate this word. I mean, I really HATE it. It saddens my heart when I hear bridezilla jokes from people or when a bride who's having an emotional day continually apologizes to her friends for being a bridezilla.
It saddens my heart because they are just so off the mark.
A bridezilla is not someone who cries because they're having a bad day. Well, she might be, but just because you're crying during a bad wedding planning day does not make you a bridezilla.
A true bridezilla is someone who makes every decision and moment between her engagement and wedding all about her individual wants and needs. She doesn't think about the needs of her guests, the practicality/affordability of her ideas, or how anything she does might affect the people around her. She is unpleasant when things go wrong and will get confrontational when people are not doing things the way she wants. A true bridezilla is no fun to be around during the wedding planning process and it's generally something felt by those around the bride and not something she finds herself worrying about. A true bridezilla doesn't worry about if she's being a bridezilla.
If you look at that definition of bridezilla, so few people fall within it, and I hate seeing brides who are nothing like a bridezilla beating themselves up because they are having an emotional day.
Brides, you are not a bridezilla if you ask all of your bridesmaids to wear matching dresses instead of picking out their own.
If you cry because the caterer, photographer, venue, etcetera that you really wanted is already booked on your wedding date or out of your budget.
If you sit down with the people contributing financially to the wedding and see if there is a way to rearrange the budget so that you can afford a certain vendor.
If you panic about all the things that need to get done.
If you need to vent about wedding stress to a friend.
If you get your feelings hurt because a guest reacted negatively to not being allowed a plus one.
If your numbers are tight and you can't allow people to bring plus ones. (It may not be "the most polite," but it doesn't make you a bridezilla.)
If you put your foot down when people suggest things that are contradictory to what you're wanting for your wedding day.
If you go against tradition and your great-grandmother can't understand why.
If you deal with what would be considered normal, rational, human emotions coming from a potentially tense or stressful time.
There is a HUGE differance between being human and being a bridezilla and it makes me so sad to see brides writing off their completely rational emotions because they feel like a bridezilla or (even worse) keeping their mouths shut because they are so worried that they might come across as a bridezilla.
Don't devalue yourself in that way, and let's find more loving terms to use than bridezilla. And if you're seeing a friend actually behaving like a bridezilla, consider pulling them aside and saying something like, "Hey, I know this is so important to you, and all of us want to be on your side, but can we find a different way of handling things instead of _________?"
Let's support and encourage each other and take an unecessary worry or stress off of an already busy bride.
What do you think of the term bridezilla?